Category Archives: israel

Israel 2, Obama 0

Had to write this quote down heard earlier on NPR: “in their strongest language yet, the State Department has said they were – ‘dismayed’.” [responding to this]

Obama: “Stop settlements.”

Israel: “Fuck you.”

Obama: “Please? Maybe slow them down a little? A scooch?”

Israel: “Fuck you. We’re building 900 more. Give us our welfare check, bitch.”

State Department, back of hand to forehead, eyes fluttering, about to wilt: “Well, I do declare! I am dismayed!” [Hands over billion dollar check to Israel.]

Obama has done a lot of little things very well: he has the knack of the small, gracious detail. Opening up the return of dead soldiers back to the press per family’s OK was a good move. He appears in front of all the necessary functions as our country’s emissary and is the perfect diplomat: very elegant and debonair. He offers Lieberman a flower when Lieberman was a former frenemy douche.

But what seems to be missing from Obama so far are some big things. Enforcing your demand that Israel stop their illegal settlements at the point of your welfare gun is something even conservatives like Andrew Sullivan are encouraging, so maybe you could take a stand on this and make this one of your big things? Obama?

Brian Eno: Stealing Gaza

brian eno

It’s a tragedy that the Israelis – a people who must understand better than almost anybody the horrors of oppression – are now acting as oppressors. As the great Jewish writer Primo Levi once remarked “Everybody has their Jews, and for the Israelis it’s the Palestinians”. By creating a middle Eastern version of the Warsaw ghetto they are recapitulating their own history as though they’ve forgotten it. And by trying to paint an equivalence between the Palestinians – with their homemade rockets and stone-throwing teenagers – and themselves – with one of the most sophisticated military machines in the world – they sacrifice all credibility. [more]

See also: Top 5 Lies About Israel’s Assault on Gaza, and: The Maps Tell the True Story.

Yea, Israel is the victim as their borders constantly expand . . . and I got a bridge to sell you – best bridge ever. Call now, while supplies last.

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