American Samizdat

Saturday, January 03, 2004. *
From the "Just what we needed" files:
 
Hot off the presses and on it's way to your local book store (with the first copy reserved for Dubya, of course) comes a new book by the "Prince of Darkness", Richard Perle. For #1 Axis of Evil Iran, who has been offering some concilliations of late, Perle says dump the mullahs; regime change is the only way. For #2 Axis if Evil North Korea, who similarly has shown a touch of softening, forget it; a full Cuba-style blockade sounds dandy with an attack on their nuclear plants as the ace of trumps. China of course is expected to simply jump on board, perhaps tossing rose petals at our feet for this.

While we're at it, isn't it time to update the Axis of Evil list? I mean, it's hardly a list with only two countries on it. So let's toss in Syria and "Bombs away!" And while we're at it, isn't it time to knock Saudi Arabia down a peg or two? After all, we hardly need them for our military bases any more, and isn't that really our oil anyways?.

But let's not stop there. France has been a bit too uppity lately. Time to start greasing them up for a place on the list. And while doing that, let's force the rest of Europe to declare sides in the Paris-Washington squabble. After all, you're either with us or against us, right? That'll fatten the list up nicely.

So will the President actually read Perle's new manifesto? Well, maybe not (he's not much of a reader, you know), but one thing's for certain: With the Twin Towers of Neoconism (the VP's office and the Pentagon) filtering everything the President reads and hears, you can bet that he won't be reading much else.

And will Perle make much money on book sales? It will hardly matter if these policies are adopted. His residuals from all the defense contracts this will require will make him a billionaire many times over. Welcome to endless war. Or at least endless until we turn into a bankrupt banana republic.

posted by Mischa Peyton at 2:03 PM
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